Origins (pre-game)

I’ve was a very introverted and quiet teenager. I still am today, although I’ve learnt to be more sociable through daygame. I also went to an all boys schools that was very academically focussed, and my hobbies outside of school were sports and video games.

So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I had virtually no interaction with the opposite gender prior to university, let alone a girlfriend or a kiss.

My first “failure” story that is etched in my memory came somewhere around the age of 15. There was this super hot girl who got on the bus at the same stop at me on the way to school (it was a very small bus stop, there’d normally be no more than 5 people there waiting for the bus). Most days for probably around 6 months I’d see her at the bus stop, never say a word to her or think about sitting next to her on the bus.

Then one day the Mother Nature tried to give me a hand. It had just started to pour down with rain as I left home (5 minute walk to the bus stop). As I got to the footpath outside my house I heard this shout of “hey!” from behind me. I turn around, and it’s her sprinting down the street towards me, without an umbrella and getting soaked. She catches up and huddles beside me (it was a small umbrella so we are literally pressed against each other). She’s breathless from running and pants “thanks” and I mumble back “that’s ok”.

That 5 minute walk to the bus stop was torture. My brain was racing trying to think of anything to say. Surely even a “my name’s xx” would have been fine. But I just couldn’t get the words out of my mouth. We walked in silence, she didn’t say anything either. Her body was really warm from the running and her clothes soaked from the rain. I could feel her pressed up against me, and simultaneously I felt this burning sensation in face – being the frustration I was feeling from not being able to start a conversation.

We got to the bus stop and moved out from under my umbrella and stood under the small shelter. I stood next to it in the rain under my umbrella. We got on the bus, sat in our usual separate seats and from that day on our usual pattern of never speaking or making eye contact resumed. 6 months or so later I stopped seeing her – either she moved house or got a different bus.

I honestly can’t remember many other interactions with girls before university. Occasionally I’d be studying with a group of friends in the library after school and some girls from our sister school 5 minutes up the road came along. We’d make some chit chat, and a few of my mates ended up dating those girls. I was so behind socially I couldn’t even tell they were flirting.

Fast forward to first year of university and there were actually girls in my classes (how amazing!) and a few of them showed interest in me. But this was only because I was a top 1% student and they were just looking for a smart guy to help with coursework. Had I known some game (or just been more confident/sociable) I probably could have transitioned with one of those girls from study buddy to fuck buddy, but obviously didn’t even get as close as a coffee date let alone more.

At the end of first year university one of my buddies had read “The Game” by Neil Strauss and sent me a PDF link. Just like every other guy, I read it from start to end in 1 sitting, fascinated by this alternative realty where guys actually meet girls.

My second year of uni was somewhat of a breakout, where me and a few buddies (who had a bit more social experience) all inspired by reading The Game, went out and hit the bars and clubs most Friday and Saturday nights. We got quite proficient at “cave man” game. Where we got really drunk, egged each other on and went to the dance floor and just started taking girls by the hand, dragging them away from their friends to dance and make out. This never went any further than making out – none of us had logistics as we all lived at home with our parents still in suburbia. There isn’t much of a “move to a new city and stay in dorms” thing in Sydney. We also weren’t creative enough to think of alternative logistics (a park or hotel by the hour). We’d try taking girls numbers after a drunken make out, and it would perplex us why they never text back the next day.

My first of these clubbing make outs (and my first kiss) came at the start of that year and it really opened my eyes to preselection. We were on law school camp and I’d met this girl. Later than night we had a dance party and I just went for the kiss and it worked. She scampered off afterwards but then soon after, this tall girl with red hair (I didn’t really fancy her) came over and said hi. After the party ended, she took me down to the beach and we started making out while lying on the sand. My mind was racing – in almost 20 years I had never managed to kiss a girl, and now I’d kissed 2 within an hour! Then she kicked things up a notch and put her hand down my pants.

I’m not sure whether it was: a) I didn’t fancy her enough; b) I was scared; or c) I liked the first girl and felt guilty (maybe all of the above), but I baulked at the opportunity to lose my virginity to her. It had started to sprinkle with rain and I used that as an excuse to rush back to my cabin.

I’d say in all our clubbing experiences that year I made out with 10 or so girls (which seemed like a huge deal for me at the time)

Towards the end of the year one of my clubbing buddies discovered some indirect daygame videos on YouTube (Alex Coulson from our very own Sydney and Yad from He decided to give it a go one day, and headed to another university campus and tried some indirect openers, complimenting girls about their handbags. To his astonishment (and mine) it worked for him very quickly. He met an Asian international student who took a liking to his approach (and had an apartment). The next week he went over to her Apartment to give her “English lessons” and got his first ever notch. He told me this and I couldn’t believe. Sure enough I started watching these YouTube videos and gave it a go with him a few weeks later and found myself getting girls numbers.

The insane surge of adrenaline in those early days of mustering the balls to do an approach and then to get a number… it’s a feeling I’ll never forget (and sadly as a veteran now, I rarely get quite that same buzz). I was hooked. I never loved clubbing – it was more so just the drinking with friends part that I enjoyed. So to discover an alternate (and seemingly more effective) way to meet girls was a great feeling.

I’d seen the occasional “direct compliment’ in some of the YouTube videos but never really thought I had the balls to try it. Then in my 2nd or 3rd daygame session with my buddy at this other uni, my mind just completely blanked on my indirect opener and what came out instead was “you’re cute”. She grinned, but I was shitting myself and ejected at that point. I told my buddy and we decided we’d try direct a bit more.

We probably did 2 or 3 daygame sessions at this campus (him maybe a few more) before the year was out. Over the university break, we and a few more of our buddies had a trip booked to Hong Kong, where we really started to see the potential of game…

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